Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
