I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
