If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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