bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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