Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
