Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She needs sedatives and a leash
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
