if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we're making bets on your personal life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
