They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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