K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
