Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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