The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I lost the right to judge tonight
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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