Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
