Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
