Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize