I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
