Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
