We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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