I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
