I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
