After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
