What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Congratulations! We have a period
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
