you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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