My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
