i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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