I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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