I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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