did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
