apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
