Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
