You can't motorboat a personality
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I am spending my child support on dildos
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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