the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize