I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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