Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
