Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
