I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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