Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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