Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
