I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
