The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
