Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
