help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
