I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
