It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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