dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
