He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
