tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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