I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up under a house in Key West
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
