I think I am morally bankrupt
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
