I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm too high and old for this...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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