Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
