He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize