Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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