Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
