Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
