After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Green mimosas i think yes
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize