Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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